"Kissing a girl on the forehead is one of the sweetest things in the world."

— (via zrpatton)

(Source: ohlovequotes, via beukeboom23)

lesbeeanmovie:

greencarnations:

cinematicsymphony:

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

  • do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
  • go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
  • if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
  • look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
  • the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
  • works every time

"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

(Source: kaliskadyami, via backlund-in-black)

"The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart; and being thoughtful and being generous. Everything else is crap. I promise you. It’s just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel less. So don’t buy it."

— Ashton Kutcher (via theflowershop)

(Source: daydreambeliever25, via jeremy-atticus)

giantmechanicalants:

theflyingdutchman:

why do people get so mad about puns? they’re literally the nicest kind of humor. they make nobody feel bad. it’s just clever. sometimes it’s original. learn to like puns. don’t let society run your life

Some may not admit it, but 99% of the anger people experience after a good pun comes from the fact that they didn’t think of it first.

(via lifeshort-stuntit)

(Source: eyelinerlyrics, via stranded30)

New favourite joke:

where-am-i-send-help:

ougbad:

karlimeaghan:

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”

i dont get it

No one explain it

(via katerstheace)

i think my plan for after college is

worb:

to work in a bridal shop in flushing, queens until my boyfriend kicks me out in one of those crushing scenes. what am i to do? where am i to go? i’ll be out on my fanny. so over the bridge from flushing to the sheffield’s door, i’ll be there to sell makeup but the father will see more. i have style, i have flair, i’ll be there, that’s how i’ll become the nanny.

(via greenersloafers)

gallifreyan-gallimaufry:

leda74:

therothwoman:

beowulfstits-archive:

I want to go to this exact point and run around it saying “I’m in Sweden!” I’m in Finland!” “I’m in Norway!” until I get tired
i aspire to great things in life

According to Google Maps, that point is in the middle of a small lake.

So we’ll do it in January when it’s frozen.

actually that’s why they’ve helpfully dropped a big-ass cement block with a bridge surrounding it in the middle of the lake: for the express purpose of doing what OP aspires to do

gallifreyan-gallimaufry:

leda74:

therothwoman:

beowulfstits-archive:

I want to go to this exact point and run around it saying “I’m in Sweden!” I’m in Finland!” “I’m in Norway!” until I get tired

i aspire to great things in life

According to Google Maps, that point is in the middle of a small lake.

So we’ll do it in January when it’s frozen.

actually that’s why they’ve helpfully dropped a big-ass cement block with a bridge surrounding it in the middle of the lake: for the express purpose of doing what OP aspires to do

(via showmeyourtoewsface)

so-pleasantly-strange:

acid-anarchism:

ny007ny:

Instead of killing an unwanted  tree , this machine makes it possible to move it to a new place instead.

woah

#HOW FUCKING COOL IS THIS THING#IT’S ALL LIKE#’GGRRRAAAAAAWWWWWWWW’#AND THE TREE IS ALL LIKE#’WHOOP!’#AND IT’S ALL LIKE SHIT YEAH GOT A TREE#this could also be used for murder.

keepfabandgayon:

sinkorswimisbullshit:

My mom told me to “find a man who respects you like a sea captain respects the sea.” A man who looks at you with awe and reverence but knows you are a force of nature. I like that.

(via hell-yeah-ima-hick)

kitd-fohs:

salmonslushie:

i saw this on one of those strange little picture slideshow websites so i decided to post it ;) have fun kids

I have found heaven and it’s full of liquor

(via hell-yeah-ima-hick)

datsrad:

purplenightsky6:

I wanna be cuddled right now and have my back rubbed until I fall asleep.

tru

(Source: purplenightsky69, via hell-yeah-ima-hick)

littlevagrancies:

thegreenwolf:

bryxhearsxmusic:

sizvideos:

Watch it in video

Follow our Tumblr

ok but I just really love the names they give them

"The Ridiculous Potato"

"The Unfortunate Clementine"

I’m giggling it’s like a team of ragtag misfit superheroes

I love the sometimes absolutely ugly but completely tasty produce that comes out of my garden.

so grateful for businesses like this

(via lifeshort-stuntit)

ideal-fatalist:

ice-sandwiches:

It looks like a cat version of Toothless.

Clawless

ideal-fatalist:

ice-sandwiches:

It looks like a cat version of Toothless.

Clawless

(Source: theartofdysfunction, via hallie-bird)